~Part of Life~

Throughout my life, with the exception of my one best friend I've had since kindergarten, I've had countless friends, mentors, etc. come in and out of my life and for the longest time it was something I seriously struggled with. I was finally got use to people at school and other people in my life being flaky. It got to the point where moment to moment with those people I didn't know if I was their friend or not (which is incredibly exhausting by the way) but I was use to it... but then all of a sudden the group of friends I thought would have my back no matter what, the ones who were suppose to be there, ya know the good friends dropped me like a hot potato. It's like the rug was pulled out from under me unexpectedly and my sense of balance was permanently messed up. During this situation I knew I had made the right choices and I knew God had a plan, but it was so unexpected that I didn't know what to do. For weeks when I prayed or worshipped I would weep nonstop because I knew God was doing a work but it was so hard for me. All I could think was how every time I got super close to someone, I was viciously torn away from them left with agony and scares to prove it. Then God spoke through the people around me and said its part of life. It's part of life. That is absolutely NOT what I wanted to hear! Why would I want to go through this over and over it absolutely stinks! And it's hard. God showed me that you can be real tight with him and still be in pain. Spiritually you can grow and develop and be totally in but you can still feel pain. Its when you trust that the hurt and agony you feel is a growing pain. When you persevere, you become much stronger than if you would have just thrown your hands up and quit.

Then one day God showed me something... he showed me how each of those people that came in my life, then right when we had become pretty close they made their exit, were the stepping stone to carry me over that situation or time in my life. I can look back and remember specific people that if it weren't for them I don't know what I would have done; yet, a I haven't even spoken to them in months maybe years. Some people in our lives will be there for a lifetime while others are present for just a season. Although for me this was a difficult thing to accept because it's painful to go through, I understand that it's for the best and it serves a greater purpose.


I find myself reflecting on this concept lately because I recently lost two very important close people in my life, my youth pastors. I'm not going to lie it's painful .. not in the sense that I'm hurt by their decision but the fact that our paths are being torn apart and we will no longer play apart in each others lives that is the hurt. The idea that when I go home and go to my home church they won't be there is painful to me, but as said best by Hillsong "For all my life in every season God is still God and I have a reason to sing." He has given me eyes to see that to make his plans come to pass, to grow, to have His best in situations I won't always understand and I will feel pain but what comes as a result is well worth every tear in the end. Face it pain is a part of life. People coming in and out of our lives is part of life. God is still awesome.. I still have soo many reasons to give Him praise.