True Sacrifice and Sharing

Recently, I volunteered at Victory for their annual Thanksgiving Feast for the community. So Saturday a thousand or two (I think that’s what they said) kids and some of their families were bused to Victory where we served them a Thanksgiving feast. While standing at my table watching, waiting for my assistance to be needed somewhere while staying out of the way, a particular brother sister duo caught my attention.  Deserts were already out on the table for them to choose and the girls who set down before them had claimed all but one piece of the pumpkin pie in that section. Naturally, the little girl grabbed the piece of pie as to reserve it for herself from anyone else who would be joining the table. Because they came on the last bus to unload, they ended up with only a few minutes to eat their food. Unlike most of us, these kids as one can tell aren’t as blessed as most of us are. You can tell they aren’t privileged with a legitimate thanksgiving feast every year filled with endless piles of mashed potatoes, turkey, ham, vegetables, rolls, and plenty of desert for everyone including each person’s favorite let alone many other luxuries we are accustomed to, yet these kids as they ate a bit in their few minutes revealed a deeper more sincere act of sharing than perhaps I have ever seen in my life. As the girl took a quick two bites she past it off to her bro. Never once did he ask for a bite nor did he reach over and take a bite? She freely as if it was part of her norm she sacrificed part of hers so he too could enjoy. Without any complaint, without fussing, or even a hesitation. Her brother after taking a bite or two handed it back over leaving the rest for her. Frozen where I had been standing, I watched as they took their last few hurried bites, take their still half full plates to the trash, hurried off together to load back on their bus. I immediately repented. How could two little children with almost nothing be more willing to share than people who are abundantly blessed? Why is it that these two kids sacrificed for one another as a normal act when they have limited things, yet those of us who are privileged with things won’t even give up a bite? I couldn’t help but think of all the times I have denied someone a bite or a small share of my blessings. Yea I’m a poor college student, but those kids may never even have a chance to even think about getting the opportunity to attend college and they can manage to share what they have. I can’t help but feel as if I have failed in fulfilling a part of God’s work and purpose for his followers. But I’m not alone in this failure. If that bro sis duo can have that kind of compassion and sacrifice, all of us, being blessed more than them significantly, should show at least that much to those who need it.

Love Hate

It’s been asked why if I love basketball, why wouldn’t I want to play? Interesting concept loving the game but hating to play it.. For me it’s quite different than anyone else. Basketball, as a few know, use to be my entire life, my one and only love, my identity, and basically the essence of life itself. During the hardest times in my life it was my one and only release.

 Healthy or not that’s how it worked. When my mom was super sick and in the hospital all the time, I would wait until my dad left to go to the hospital after he was done working, throw shorts on and a hoodie (keep in mind this was like November/December),  go outside and let it out on our make shift court in the drive way. I could never talk about how hard different things were or my feelings, but the perfect thing about basketball was it couldn’t ask. I could let it all out .. every emotion I couldn’t express with words… the sadness, the distress, the anger, the confusion, anything and everything. And then we hit a time when Basketball as a team sport had one objective… Winning. I do understand that winning is the goal of a sport or at least to most people; however, playing with the sole purpose to win ruined everything for me. No longer was it a release but rather the creator of more stress, anxiety, and intensity. We played to win not for enjoyment. What happened to the days where you played your heart out and enjoyed it regardless of the score? Somehow it we always did better as we loosened up and enjoyed the game. Even the days of a spontaneous ridiculously funny awesome game of 21 where we played hard through sweat and blood but laughed so hard we cried faded out to only a distant memory. Thus, began my hate for the very thing I loved. Talk about an epic internal battle. It took me walking away from the thing I loved most to realize what matters most. Basketball or life it’s all the same, it’s what you are in it for that makes the game.

~Part of Life~

Throughout my life, with the exception of my one best friend I've had since kindergarten, I've had countless friends, mentors, etc. come in and out of my life and for the longest time it was something I seriously struggled with. I was finally got use to people at school and other people in my life being flaky. It got to the point where moment to moment with those people I didn't know if I was their friend or not (which is incredibly exhausting by the way) but I was use to it... but then all of a sudden the group of friends I thought would have my back no matter what, the ones who were suppose to be there, ya know the good friends dropped me like a hot potato. It's like the rug was pulled out from under me unexpectedly and my sense of balance was permanently messed up. During this situation I knew I had made the right choices and I knew God had a plan, but it was so unexpected that I didn't know what to do. For weeks when I prayed or worshipped I would weep nonstop because I knew God was doing a work but it was so hard for me. All I could think was how every time I got super close to someone, I was viciously torn away from them left with agony and scares to prove it. Then God spoke through the people around me and said its part of life. It's part of life. That is absolutely NOT what I wanted to hear! Why would I want to go through this over and over it absolutely stinks! And it's hard. God showed me that you can be real tight with him and still be in pain. Spiritually you can grow and develop and be totally in but you can still feel pain. Its when you trust that the hurt and agony you feel is a growing pain. When you persevere, you become much stronger than if you would have just thrown your hands up and quit.

Then one day God showed me something... he showed me how each of those people that came in my life, then right when we had become pretty close they made their exit, were the stepping stone to carry me over that situation or time in my life. I can look back and remember specific people that if it weren't for them I don't know what I would have done; yet, a I haven't even spoken to them in months maybe years. Some people in our lives will be there for a lifetime while others are present for just a season. Although for me this was a difficult thing to accept because it's painful to go through, I understand that it's for the best and it serves a greater purpose.


I find myself reflecting on this concept lately because I recently lost two very important close people in my life, my youth pastors. I'm not going to lie it's painful .. not in the sense that I'm hurt by their decision but the fact that our paths are being torn apart and we will no longer play apart in each others lives that is the hurt. The idea that when I go home and go to my home church they won't be there is painful to me, but as said best by Hillsong "For all my life in every season God is still God and I have a reason to sing." He has given me eyes to see that to make his plans come to pass, to grow, to have His best in situations I won't always understand and I will feel pain but what comes as a result is well worth every tear in the end. Face it pain is a part of life. People coming in and out of our lives is part of life. God is still awesome.. I still have soo many reasons to give Him praise.