Since before my senior year of high school started, I was ready to escape. Escape from school, the drama, the pointless class work, stupid teachers, so called friends, “haters”, and virtually everything. I knew there was something better out there, somewhere where things would be completely different.. totally better… COLLEGE. As one can imagine by the time August rolled around I was more than eager escape to Tulsa. Just far enough away where I didn’t have to deal with people, drama, or anything else I would rather not deal with. Up until Christmas break my escape worked perfectly as I imagined it would, at school I escaped from everything back at home and when I needed an escape from school I could just hop in my car and come home for the weekend.
The problem with making an escape is that the problem or the situations you escape from still exist. You can run from them but wherever you run new ones arise. And sooner or later they will catch up with you no matter where you are.
On my graduation, my grandpa who lived with us most of my life passed away. And I have been escaping the reality of it ever since. Not that I didn’t believe it had happened or anything like that, just that it was easier/less painful to escape the situation by work, friends, or even going to college. Over Christmas break it finally hit me.. I don’t know why now but it happened. Then as I tried to escape by coming back to ORU nothing changed…I still felt the pain.
Through this God started revealing to me how much each of us try to escape things instead of dealing with it. Instead of admitting to ourselves that yes it hurts and allow ourselves to grow through it we distract ourselves. Sometimes situations are painful.. sometimes it’s ok to cry.. it’s ok because we are only human stuff hurts and that’s how we grow. Muscles are stretched and painful when strength training. That’s how they develop and grow stronger… I think of my life in the same way. To grow sometimes its painful.
